Many would consider this UFC pool party a dream, others a nightmare

Listen, I’m a dude who stays inside all day as a slave to his computer. I have a simple life. My dog, my wife whom I love. I own a PS4 and an Xbox One as well as a gaming computer. I just don’t need this pool party in my life. I used to live in LA, I’m no stranger to the vapid Hollywood lifestyle, and frankly I could see this being a lot of fun under the right circumstances, but I just want to say it’s not for me, okay? The music sucks. I mean, I would love to talk to any of these people about training, I love getting punched in the face for a workout, but I never see the sun, so I’m at an impasse. What’s a pale fight fan like me to do?

Here’s a video of a UFC pool party. Think of it what you will. I’m sorry, it’s 1am. These are the thoughts that come at this hour.